INT. PROFESSORS CABINET, DAY
MIA (20), dressed like a cheap imitation of a cheap, whorish five-week pop star is slouching in her chair. She plays with her hair and chews gum as if bored.
Across, behind a desk, ANTUN (40), unkempt, dressed in a dull, fashion oblivious suit. He seriously inspects a paper. After a while, he shakes his head in disapproval and produces a deep, worried sigh.
There is silence. Mia’s chewing is the single audible sound. After a while, she pops a small balloon. Without looking at Antun, she shyly utters.
I’ll suck your cock.
Antun lifts his eyes.
Mia stops playing with her hair, takes a breath and looks straight at him.
I am going to orally stimulate
your penis if you let me pass
this useless shit! Aren’t you
supposed to be smart?
She lowers her eyes once again.
Antun leans back, takes off his glasses and produces a nervous nasal laughter.
This is unheard of! How dare you?
After a short silence, Mia moans due to emotional discomfort caused by his dramatic reaction.
Because I am drunk … and
stoned … and fucking tired.
Antun shakes his head, nervously opens a pen and starts writing something on the test paper.
Outrageous – I will report this!
Mia shortly laughs with irony.
Who is going to believe you? Who
is going to care?
Antun stops writing. All he “wrote” are some abstract scribbles. He thinks.
Please leave my cabinet, Miss…
He stalls at remembering her last name.
You don’t even remember students
names, do you?
My task is not remembering names.
No, your task is repeating useless
knowledge I can download from internet.
Antun overhears her cynicism.
What makes you even think I would
accept something like this?
Mia shrugs her shoulders. She now stares at her lap and plucks loosely attached fluffy synthetic hair from her skirt.
You are 50, you don’t look like
Clooney and you don’t earn enough
to bang young whores. You should
I am 43.
I can’t believe my ears! You need
to seriously think about your
behavior, young lady!
I will never be a lady. I will
Antun stares at her in disbelief. She lifts her head and looks at him.
Ok, probably I will have to kiss
some ass too.
Antun shakes his head in disbelief.
OK. Look, your test is terrible,
you never attend the classes.
I can’t let you pass, we are done.
Mia takes her bag off the floor and starts standing up.
No! That would fatally shake up
our democracy – the foundation of
best possible worlds.
Antun looks at the side and thinks for a moment.
Did it ever occur to you it might be
easier to study than to …
He stops at profanity. She halts standing in front of him. Her posture displays her intoxicated state which passed the “high” of the rush.
…suck? Can you teach me how to
solve a Millennium Prize math
Problem? This school sucks too.
Why did you enroll then?
Mia becomes pensive.
I didn’t pass exams for medical
school. My father is a miner. I
could stay in my village and be
a TV gazing burden or get
Antun scratches his head. Short silence.
Did you pass other exams like
No. Others don’t bother. They
just give you an E and get it
Mia snaps out of her introspection.
You are weird. What do you want
Antun looks into her eyes.
I want students to value
Why? Nobody ever wanted knowledge
from me. They all just want my ass.
Well, rest assured I don’t want
Why not? What’s wrong with it?
Mia turns around extrudes her ass and looks at it.
Do you think it’s too flat?
Antun lifts his hand in protest.
No, no, there is nothing wrong
with your body. Stop it, sit
Thank you, professor.
Antun looks at her. The silence starts making Mia uncomfortable.
So what will we do?
OK. I will ask you a few
Whatever you want.
Which theory suggests that our
connection to members of society
5 leads us to systematically
conform to society’s norms?
Mia rolls her eyes.
She starts leaving. On her way out she stops and turns on her unreliable feet.
Now I will ask YOU a question –
Why don’t you teach me how to
get a job in this fucking country!
Or how to meet a normal guy.
Teach me how to survive on my
scholarship! Teach me how to
stop my father from drinking!
Short silence. Antun looks at her with a puzzled look on his face.
Can you? This country sucks,
this school sucks, why shouldn’t
I suck!? You should torture
politicians or managers. Ask this
that minister who forged her
She does suck, I give you that.
We have swineherds in government
and doctors scavenging trash!
What do you drive “Captain Value”?
When did you take “Mrs. Value”
on holiday last time? Did she ever
cum under a fucking palm tree?
Hey! Watch your language!
There is no Mrs. Value… Mia
You are no better then me! You
leech your way to retirement just
like we leech our miserable
scholarships. You are even worse –
you don’t even have the balls to
Mia’s face twists in disgust. Anton looks at her from behind his desk with patronizing empathy.
It’s true – one needs to face
it. But staring into a face never
before changed it.
Amidst his sentence, Mia suddenly starts vomiting. She squats and begins to cry. Antun courteously looks away. Still in tears, she produces a thin paper tissue and tries to clean up.
I am sorry. Fuck, what’s wrong
with me? I am so sorry…
She keeps stirring up the mess with this, far too small piece of paper. Antun approaches her. He kneels next to her and puts his hand on her shoulder.
It’s OK. Don’t worry, It’s all
right… it’s all right.
Mia leans her head on Antun’s chest and cries. He hugs her head.
Psst. It will all be OK in the
The end is so far away professor,
Antun starts gently stroking her hair. He becomes pensive and gazes into space. Slowly he starts rocking his torso and mumbling to comfort her.
Mmm mmm mmm… Mmm mmm mmm…
His mumbling gradually transforms into “Angie” (Rolling Stones).
…with no loving in our souls and
no money in our coats You can’t
say we’re satisfied But Angie,
Angie, you can’t say we never tried
mmm, mmm mmm… mmm, mmm mmm…
All the dreams we held so close
seemed to all go…
Mia starts distrustfully peeking at Antun. She finds his behavior odd. Suddenly she pulls her head out of his arms and wipes her tears.
What are you doing? She stands up
and fixes her hair and shortly
You really are creepy you know that?
I just wanted to…
He stops amidst the sentence, looks at her for a moment, gives up and bows his head. Mia can see the bald patch on the top of his head. Antun nods.
I’m just kidding! You seriously
need to have some fun sometimes!
Antun looks at her and shrugs. Mia puts her bag on the shoulder and zips her jacket.
Maybe you can drop by the place
I work sometimes.
Where do you work?
At Maracuja club.
She shakes her head and laughs with a trace of sympathy.
Jesus you really suck!
Mia turns and starts exiting the cabinet.
It is latin for…
Mia slams the door. Antun stays alone.
…maracuja – edible passionflower.
Anton looks at the little pond of vomit featuring an abstract paper tissue sculpture. He walks to his desk and sits. For a while, he emptily gazes trough the walls. He picks up the phone and dials a number.
Hello. Professor Martić here –
a mess happened in my office,
can you send someone to clean
You can’t … everybody is busy?
He hangs up the phone and remains seated. His face tells the odour of the vomit is starting to fill the room. He takes Mia’s test and marks it with a C. After a short pause he adds letters, turning it into SUCK. He lifts his head and stares in front of him as the camera starts pulling away. Suddenly he throws his pen whirling into the air, so it exists the frame. It never falls back on the table.